I have started keeping a yoga journal in which each time I practice, whether at home or in a studio, I am writing a quick blurb about what was the best part of the practice, and what was the hardest part.
So now I catch myself in class thinking, "Ooh, this is the best part", and then later, "Ooh, no this is definitely the best part!". On the flip side, I am also having thoughts like, "This part sucks so bad! I will be writing about this in my journal later" (silent grumble).
Yesterday I walked into class and realized that the only space available for my mat was right in the center of the front row. I surprised myself with the automatic negative emotional reaction that I had to this realization. Without even noticing, I had gotten into the habit of getting to class early enough to take a spot in the back corner, and had started counting on the fact that I could be in that back corner in my own little yoga world!
The second realization that hit me was "Wait a second, I'm getting ready to train to be a teacher! Teachers usually have to stand in the front of the class, with people actually looking at them!" And I suddenly got very nervous. Uh oh.
"I will be writing about this in my journal later."
That would explain a lot about why you always liked to sit in the back during class.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I forget I had classes with you in college, but I didn't always sit in the back of the class. In yoga, it is my ego creeping in on me and fear that others might judge my practice. It is something I will have to work on! :)
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